Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Apologies

We've all experienced it, but I'll speak for myself.  Uke is "being stubborn," and I'm getting frustrated.  My technique, rather than getting better and more focused to compensate, gets worse. I resort to speed and strength.  Which frustrates me even more. I should know better. I blame myself.  Training sucks.

As much as I hate to admit it, certain Ukes give me more problems than others.  Intellectually, I know that this isn't always all my fault.  Sometimes it IS "Uke's fault."   But that's irrelevant.  I can't change Uke. I can only respond -- and that is part of the training, too.

Aikido training is a very intimate thing. For newcomers especially, the human dynamics of grabbing each other, sweating on each other, causing each other discomfort, leading, blending, etc, are all obvious new sensations.  But those things are on the surface.  They are perhaps a bit unexpected for the newbie, but right out there for all to see.

The more subtle new sensations have to do with the interpersonal non-physical stuff:  perceived stubbornness or bossiness; a partner who seems overly interested in teaching rather than just training; class dynamics that include talking too little or too much.

To all newbies (say, less than 100 years of training): this never goes away.

I'm at a stage in my Aikido life where I "feel" like I should be able to show some proficiency much of the time.  Most of the time these days, I work with folks who are at least somewhat less experienced than I am.  So my ego says I should know something. <puff up chest> "I'm the Sempai!  Listen to me!", says I.  Unfortunately, when I'm tired or I've had a hard day and I'm not on my mental or emotional game, I find sometimes myself "arguing" with Uke, even if Uke is right. (note to self : Assume Uke is always right).

For my Ukes out there who know what I'm talking about, I apologize.  I'm still learning.




4 comments:

  1. A great class last night - the perfect combination of frustration, accomplishment, and exhaustion!

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  2. First, its been so long since I've considered myself a "newbie" Mike so thank you! :) I do always try to remember I am student first instead of a teacher but newbie, hmmm....

    Next, I unfortunately missed this past Monday's class but I know Briele Sensei so I have no doubt it was wonderfully challenging and fun!

    Aikido training is a very intimate thing and not just with you partner. It really is a time to get to know yourself and that always harder than working with even a "stubborn" uke! :) Not only do we need to confidently see our uke, his/ her attack, feel the connection, etc but we need to have that same intimacy with our own movements, thoughts and yes, issues. In that light, Mike, we are all still learning and no apologies are necessary! To paraphrase O'Sensei - true victory is victory over oneself!

    Which leads me to your previous post on uke/ nage roles! Seeing those as the same thing and working on improving uke's presence and perspective has been fun for me and has been a focus for recent classes. I know we have spoken about it but I still enjoyed reading that post as well! It really is about learning about ourself and making those improvements we all need to be the best possible version of ourselves!

    Keep the posts coming Mike!!

    -T

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  3. Hello all. I guess I might have unwittingly insulted some of my teachers with my "newbie = less than 10 years" of training comment. In my little mind, this was supposed to be a joke, but really didn't come out right. I was speaking directly to real newbies (like, maybe six months), but meant to equate that to all of us (like, less than 20 years of training). Tonya's right -- we're all students, and hence newbies in a sense. That's what I get for no proof-reading my posts. I'm going to edit the post now. Sheesh.

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    1. No insult Mike - I thought it was a fun & funny perspective!! ;)

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