Blowing Off Class

In the years I've been training, I've trained very intensely at times, and very sparsely at times.  From several hours a day, to once a month, or even less.  I can honestly say that I've never crossed the line in my mind where I'd "given up" on Aikido, but there were times when, with life and family and work and just plain attitude, it was hard to get to the Dojo and I effectively took some short "sabbaticals."  Despite knowing that I almost always felt better after training than before it, it still wasn't always easy to make myself get on the mat.   It's part of the training.

We talk about being fully present on the mat (and off).  Awareness and focus are a big part of why we do what we do.  However, if you've got a lot on your mind, or life has you scrambling to keep up, sometimes it's darned near impossible to be fully present, even for that hour or two on the mat.  You could argue that you shouldn't get on the mat at all on days like that -- either because your training would suffer, or that you could even injure yourself or someone else.  Quite so.

However, there's also something to be said for "going through the motions" sometimes, even if you're not at 100%.   Safety is a consideration, of course.  But you shouldn't let an "all or nothing" attitude keep you from being on the mat, either.   Nobody is at their top form all of the time.  I think that part of the training is to learn to forgive yourself, notice your state of mind, and train on.   It's a balancing act.

Here's something you may not have considered.   While training more frequently is almost always a better option than training less, it is, in fact, possible to learn things during sparse times that cannot be learned as easily when you're training frequently and regularly.   It's important to take advantage of those times -- they will happen.  

For instance, if you only come to the Dojo once a month or so, you're likely to always be rusty.  Fine.  You can let that get you down, or you can treat your rustiness as a form of "beginner's mind" and come to every session with an "empty cup."   In a way, training less often makes it easier to treat every training session as brand new, and you focus on the very basics.  I've even noticed that when I train sparsely, the subsequent "sloppiness" in my technique can also have a positive element of "fluidity" if I let it.   Hammond Sensei once remarked to me in class that I was "looking good," even though he didn't realize I hadn't been to class in weeks.  I was just feeling loose. So, even as we're striving for fluidity and precision simultaneously, you can at least use your circumstances to play with one or the other.

Infrequent training can also shine a spotlight on changes in your fellow Aikidoka more easily.   It's like not seeing your young niece or nephew for half a year or so.  When you do see them, you remark "my, how you've grown!" For example, I've mentioned to Evil Todd before that there was a point in his training when I noticed that, while he's always been really, really strong, he had, to my eyes "suddenly" learned to turn!  

Noticing these kinds of step-changes in your mat-mates can be discouraging if you let your ego get involved and start comparing yourself with others around you too much, but it can also be enlightening.  If you tell your friends that you're seeing improvements in them, at the very least you can act as a motivator for them!  We all need "atta-boys" (or girls) from time to time.

Finally, a note about injuries...   I, personally, find it very difficult to justify coming to class if I'm not physically able to train near top form, because I tend to train a little beyond my capabilities at times like that, and I make things worse.   As one teacher once told me: "the #1 objective is to be able to train the next day."  Also, I usually hate to just watch.

However, a minor injury can be a good teacher.  A weak knee can help you watch your footwork more closely.  Bumps and bruises will tend to round out your Ukeme (quickly!).  A sore back can remind you slow down and pay extra attention to your balance.  Sore arms can remind you to not use your arms so much!

So.  Here's what I tell myself about "blowing off class."

Don't let yourself get into the habit of blowing off class for no good reason.  It's a very easy habit to get into, and a slippery slope.  But on the other hand, don't let a missed class now and then interrupt your overall training, either.  It's a marathon, not a sprint.  Stay present in the bigger moment, just as you do in the immediate one.

BTW, when you see me tap myself on the shoulder before bowing in, that's my little "atta boy" to myself for just getting there.   :-)