I just read a great article, sent to me by my long-time friend, Wayne. Wayne is really smart. I really value what Wayne says. And yet Wayne and I disagree a lot. So much so that, over the years, I don't even open most of his emails because the subject line seems so biased.
I've been focusing my energy these days on trying to change the way we have conversations (see understandingonpurpose.com), so sometimes I crack my neck and remind myself that Wayne's thoughts are a rich source of training material. I mean, if I can't change the conversation with a long-time friend, what chance do I have with relative strangers?
So. Wayne sent me this article.
I've said it before. The reason I train in Aikido is because, if I took the way I see conflict (ideally) and put it into a dance, it would look like Aikido. Almost everything in the physical dance of Aikido is analogous to something in the verbal dance of a conversation -- particularly debate, or argument.
So. A line in the article hit me in the face:
I loved this, because I've often taught that our relationship to our Uke in Aikido is a "frame" -- I usually use this language when working with dancers, because they immediately get it.
It goes even deeper. The scientific study referenced in the article drew a conclusion: